Let’s skip the explanations on why I haven’t been writing much to suddenly posting this, because nobody wants to hear excuses, and neither do I.
How am I doing, you ask? Very well, thank you. Although my official status would be ‘plucking grapes’ (you Malaysians should know this joke – I wish I was really plucking grapes though, like somewhere in Australia, it would be so much fun), I cannot necessarily say that I find it boring. Well, it is somewhat, but I compare myself to people constantly complaining about their jobs (and it’s like 90% of people I know – 10% are still studying – word) and I cannot help but force myself to take it slow and make the most out of my time gap between graduating and working (and making it as long lasting as possible) before I get thrown into the cold, dark pit of what they call the corporate world *shivers*.
What have I been up to, you ask? Not much, but doesn’t that fulfill the goal of taking a chill pill? Okay, I am actually supposed to be preparing for further study and even going on a real short-term mission trip on my own before furthering my studies… but plans don’t always work out, and that’s okay. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. It has been a bit of a disappointment, but I’m so used to disappointments that this is kinda meh. How am I dealing with it? Well, some people would buy a plane ticket to somewhere far away to cope and escape reality for a while, but if you’re like me and you’re a penniless grape-plucker (which is the reason why my plans didn’t work out in the first place), you lie in bed every morning thinking about what you can do for the day besides eat and then at night, stare at the ceiling wondering if death by long-term inactivity is possible.
“You’re lying!”, you accuse of me. “Didn’t you just came back from that trip?” Sigh. Yes, I did. I wasn’t lying, though. When I’m not on trips (which are sponsored by my parents who are also on those trips with me) that’s just what I do at home. You see, being unemployed, every single thing you attempt to do reduces your bank balances. Staying at home minimizes spending. So it’s really down to whether you wanna be bored or more broke than you already are. But actually there is a whole lot you can do at home, as I have discovered. You can draw and paint (I’m not kidding), binge watch a whole lot of dramas, play computer/mobile games, read a ton of books (this is really a good way to pass time, btw), watch food channels (I’m a fan of the program Unique Sweets, but watch with caution – it makes you crave for donuts and ice cream sandwiches), watch movies (basically the TV is your best companion), kill mosquitoes and flies (my average per day is at least 1 mosquito – I consider myself a superhero, really), read articles and just reflect on life… or not.
It sounds pretty sad when put that way (especially the killing mosquitoes part, lol), but I also have been spending time with people, okay… as much as my pocket allows me to. Sorry if I declined your invite to hang out, it’s just my pocket isn’t co-operating, you’d understand, right? Right? Sigh. In all seriousness, it’s kind of disconcerting how uncertain the future holds and that none of my plans worked out, but it is what it is and I guess God has something else in mind. Meanwhile I shall continue to wait and perhaps finally decide to start working eventually.