She sees arguments, she sees fights. She hears them through the walls and cries to herself. She sees how damaging they are and makes a recipe for a relationship where both parties can’t stand being in the same room with each other. She shuts it out. She runs.
She grows up and see more of those. People drifting apart after a silly little drama. She will not be one of them. Feuds can be easily solved by avoiding arguments, she thinks. Just go with the flow, agree or stay silent. No disagreements, no confrontations. Avoidance is key. She runs.
She witnesses good people harbour hate and spread poisonous gossips to hurt each other. She resolves to be neutral just so she won’t be on anyone’s bad side. Don’t get too close, and nobody will be hurt. She is loved, but not deeply. She is known, but probably on the surface. Problems presented themselves to her, and she knows not what to do. Pick a side? Which side? How to not offend anyone? She runs. It helps, temporarily.
She sees two people hug it out after an argument. But how? The word ‘reconcile’ seems so alien to her. She muses over it. She hears them say that they love because He first loved them. But isn’t it better to just avoid confrontations in the first place, so you don’t have to do the reconciling part? It’s the easier way out. She continues to drift among the crowd, never stepping on anyone’s toes. She runs.
She gets angry sometimes, but no, she will not confront. She shuts her door and contain the anger in these four walls. But often she’s most frustrated at herself and how far from perfect she is. She gets down on her knees. She hears the word ‘forgiveness’. Yes, but how? They don’t deserve forgiveness. She definitely doesn’t. “I forgive you”, He says. “I died once and for all to save you, that’s how you are forgiven and should forgive others too, because it’s never about being deserving”. She stops.
She hears a knock on her door. She turns around. She opens her door. Her body shivers, her hands shake. “I’m sorry,” he says. His gaze pierces through and shatters her fears. “I’m sorry, too” she hears herself say, and they hug. They become stronger together. She is tempted, sometimes, and her fears overwhelm her… but she is determined not to run again.