Even Unto Death

 

“In my darkest hour,

in humiliation;

I will wait for you,

I am not forsaken”

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Heavy

No matter what you and I say or do, it will always come back to haunt me, won’t it? But how long can I bear the guilt for? Will you relieve me of the burden, or is it too much to ask for?

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An attempt at self-potrait. If only we had wings like those of a bird.

I Do

Today was baptism day at church, and even though I have witnessed baptism more times than I can count, it still gets me every time. There’s just something that tugs at my heartstrings when somebody gets drenched and then lifted up victoriously from the water, for reasons unexplainable with words.

“Do you take Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour?”

“I do.”

These words are always uttered during baptism, but it hit me recently that that’s the greatest ‘I do’ anyone can ever confess in their lifetime, and I’m so glad that I did, that the other ‘I do’ associated with wedding ceremonies seems so insignificant compared to this (they say ‘I will’ at weddings these days anyway). 

If the day does come that I get to say those two words at my own wedding ceremony, that would be great; but the knowledge that I have said yes to the God whose love will never fail me and who I will be with for eternity, surpasses all other joy that I have ever experienced.

At that moment it really didn’t matter to me if, by God’s will, I don’t get to utter those words ever again, as I already have said ‘I do’ to the greatest Love of my life, and that’s enough for me. 

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” (Philippians 3:8)

Intentions Pt.2ย 

If intentions were enough, you would’ve opened your door when I knocked upon it. 

If intentions were enough, I would’ve been able to reach out to your dark place instead of being shunned out. 

If intentions were enough, I would’ve kept on knocking. 

But how much of use would it be?

So I will wait. Until you fought the battle that you must face. Not alone, never alone. He is with you. And me, on the other side of the door, waiting. 

Intentions

If intentions are enough, I would be doing the right things the right way, regardless.

If intentions are enough, I would be able to comfort the broken-hearted without saying or doing anything. 

If intentions are enough, I would be able to feed the hungry by merely clicking the ‘like’ button.

If intentions are enough, I would be able to avoid misunderstandings even if wrong words were used at the wrong time. 

If intentions are enough, I would be forgiven quickly by just apologizing over texts. 

If intentions are enough, we would be able to hear each other despite the noise and emotions, or even silence. 

If intentions are enough, you would know how much I care, even if I’m far away. 

But intentions are never enough, are they? Not for me. Not for you.