Nothing short of proud to be a Malaysian on this day and this new era. So many historic milestones and I can tell my descendants that I was alive to witness this day. That would be enough. If I live to have any descendants, that is.
When something goes wrong, and all you can think of is who should be blamed, it says a lot about your character. Especially those who point fingers (or even insinuate sarcastically) and do nothing to help fix the situation, because to them it ‘wasn’t their fault’ and therefore they have ‘no responsibility whatsoever’ to mend things.
If you read the above and still think there’s nothing wrong with that, that speaks even more volume on your character. The best thing you can do, if you refuse to help, is to shut up.
Tl;dr: I almost died today.
Today a PA speaker nearly half my size fell from the first floor balcony of the church to the ground floor, narrowly missing my head by inches.
I do usually court accidents but falling objects are fairly new to me. Eventhough it’s nothing to laugh about, even my younger sister says it’s funny how of all people it would be me. Of course it would.
Back to the story, I was eating a slice of banana cake, standing right at the spot where the speaker was about to drop, until I moved to go get some tea; and as I was walking I felt something hit my left calf, someone pulling me urgently away and heard a loud thud – all at the same time.
Initially I thought it was some wiring or small equipment that fell, but as I turn I saw this huge speaker on the wooden floor where I stood seconds ago and how everyone else was shook and horrified. I was the closest victim, so thank God no one else was hurt. It could’ve been a lot worse, because it so happened to be refreshment time where everyone usually crowds around the cake table.
I do realise the seriousness of what would happen if I stayed at the spot a few seconds too long. First off, this post would probably not be here for you to read. Secondly, I would probably not see the light of day for who knows how long. Thirdly, exams would be the least of my worries.
I sometimes feel like God placed an invisible bubble wrap around me that protects me from serious physical harm, save a few bruises that I asked for, what with my level of clumsiness. I’m grateful to even be able to go back home in one piece and do what I usually do on a Sunday, however mediocre it is – because the alternative would be unthinkable.
No matter what you and I say or do, it will always come back to haunt me, won’t it? But how long can I bear the guilt for? Will you relieve me of the burden, or is it too much to ask for?
I used to have self-pitying thoughts like, “I wonder what would happen if I disappear”.
Now I just think, “meh, probably nothing would change”.
If I could choose a time frame in the event that I am caught in a time loop, I would want to live these past two weeks in a loop.
They say time passes by quickly when you’re happy and these two weeks passed by too fast that I had to find for traces to convince myself that it actually happened.
I have a feeling this whole year will be like a dream, too; and I would one day wake up in my own bed back home wondering if any of this ever happened.
When something is too good to be true, the best thing to do is to keep expectations at bay, and go about your own life as usual.
That way, disappointments won’t be as harsh when it hits you that it’s never gonna happen. That everything you fantasized about was really no more than just fantasies.
Partly why I hate to plan things. If things are not gonna go the way you want them to, why bother?