Thankful.

General Update

This post was originally heading a very different direction from when I first drafted it a month ago, with titles ranging from ‘Sentiments’ to ‘The Defence Mechanism’, in line with all the depressing thoughts I had, but I (fortunately) had a bit of time recently and took a break from wallowing in my emotions. So here is a bit of an update on my life for your amusement (or not), things that I’m thankful for, and some reminders for myself.

Working in KL (Part 2)

“You have been working for 2 months only? But it feels like 2 years already right?”

Thai Training Instructor, in Singapore, 2019

The above basically sums up my working life. It’s not so much a complaint as it is a joke, because who am I to whine compared to those who have actually worked like this for years? But the people that God has put in my workplace since day 1 have been so amazing, I’m more blessed than anything else. I prayed for this a day before work, and the people turned out so beyond what I prayed about, I actually cried when some of them left the project lol. So much for making a good impression.

A home away from home

Making decisions have been one of my life’s greatest challenges, if not the most, and narrowing down my choices of apartments to rent was like asking me to choose between milo and hot chocolate. *system error*

Anyhow, I eventually made a decision (medal for me) and it was the view from the balcony that sealed the deal for me. There’s just something about the KL skyline, maybe it’s because I’m from a small town, but the view still gets me ever since I first started working in KL. I’ve also been blessed with the best housemate ever (shoutout to you, Jan. <3), and it’s great to come back to someone to have meals with and talk to about everything and anything under the sun. She’s the sweetest.

So even though there were no washing machine nor refrigerator provided, this humble abode is enough for me. That and the swimming pool, the gym, my IKEA sofa bed, and the myNEWS downstairs HAHA. Yes I’m an ungrateful brat.

A church in KL

Friends and family have been recommending churches to me (thank you!) so I’ve been church-hopping, mainly because… I wasn’t joking about being bad at decision-making. But I think I’ve sort of made up my mind (more medals, please), and here’s why:

I’ve been attending different churches that so happen to lean towards the more charismatic side, and it’s been “God will heal you” and “miracles happen” (which is perfectly fine, don’t get me wrong), but a few weeks ago I went back to St. Mary’s (the church I attended before going to the UK), where the Pastor literally started the sermon with “We’re all going to die” and I immediately felt home. Hahahaha I’m morbid like that. The second week, sermon was about how we’re undeserving of God’s grace and it was just exactly what I needed to hear to keep me grounded. I also felt the desire to know more, which is a good start?

What else?

I was recently asked about what my 10-year plan is. As much as I’d like to say something ‘impressive’ like a comprehensive, well-thought out career plan, the truth is I don’t really have one. As needlessly depressing as it sounds, I don’t know if I even have 10 years ahead of me. Life plans are based on your life purpose; and life purposes are usually about something that makes this life worth living for and something worth doing when you know you’re dying – and you don’t exactly know when you will die.

I don’t exactly have a physical plan, because it kind of always fall through for me, but I have an abstract one. It isn’t anything big or impressive, but my life purpose is to love and be loved, no matter what physical plans I have/ what situation I will be placed in, because 1 John 4:19. I want to learn how to love well, and be better at it. As much as I want to die a martyr’s death like Jim Elliot, I feel like I’m more likely to die from a seizure from decision-making difficulties, or maybe of clumsiness. Jokes aside, I want people that I love to know that they’re loved, and I think a life spent loving and serving God and people well is a life worth living for. So to put it into action in all that I do is the plan. But this topic for another post, maybe.

More things to be grateful for:

Family who are always there for me and making sure I’m well taken care of, relatives who I can visit, friends who drive/bring me to church, friends who make time to meet up and help expand my collection of Harry Potter merchandise, colleagues who are as weird as I am, seniors who are angels on earth, weekends off-work, a good swim, gym time, badminton, good music, good books, being able to write, guitars, Grabfood, ice cream, bubble teas, ‘proper’ tea, train rides, car rides, a Chinese-accented Bluetooth device, and bear hugs, among others.