Reflection*

I don’t know about you, but I do often get affected by the actions of others, especially by the things they say, as hard as I try not to.

Whenever something negative is said or when there’s a lack of response, I would naturally think “did I say/do something wrong?”, or “it must be my fault”, and somehow manage to become unnecessarily harsh on myself.

I mean, sure, there’s nothing wrong with self-reflection, but it shouldn’t get to a point where someone else’s action (or lack thereof) paralyses you. Repeat after me:

What they do and what they say are a reflection of who they are, not you.

This is especially true when the other person does not give an ounce of care regarding how they’ve affected you. What they say or do stems from their own whims, emotions, opinions and values. Heck, they probably won’t even remember a single thing whilst you mope about.

Once you realise this, it allows you to see the motivations behind one’s actions, hopefully stops you from blaming yourself too much and move on to thinking about how you can respond appropriately in a particular situation, or maybe even come to see the hurt that took root in the other person.

It is worth noting that this does not encourage the labelling/judging of people based on their actions before you self-reflect. One should always first hold one’s standard against oneself. Taking the log out of your own eye before taking the speck out of others (Matthew 7:1-5) should always apply.

Which brings me to my next point: what do our own actions/words (or lack thereof) say about us? Have we allowed unaddressed bitterness, insecurities or pride within ourselves to shape our words? Do we base them on what we believe is true, or do we react before thinking? Are we actually aware of how it may affect others? Do we respond to hate with hate, or do we kill them with kindness? (Hint: always kill them with kindness)

Also, self-awareness > self-consciousness is something I’m still learning. Maybe for another post.

*title inspired by Mulan’s soundtrack – cues song – “whoooo iss that girl I seeee” – great song.

I want so much more.

I want so much more than just to live this life mindlessly.

I want so much more than just feigned contentment.

I want so much more than what this life has to offer.

Perhaps this ache is to remind me that nothing on earth will ever satisfy. That this world is not my home and I’m merely a stranger passing through.